Thoughts 2

Well what can I say about the SHOOTING GALLERY experience...

It was not the right choice... it was not for me and it never will.... good experiences though...lots of laughts and smiles, endleess nights or partys whatever you want to call them...

I learn oh  yeah , I did learn  something ja ja ja......

My life is in a weird position right now , don't know what to do anymore , sometimes crying feelings crawl my body , specially my eyes....

I use to have a guide in certain way , I didn't know that was my guide , until now , that is not there anymore..

U always answer your phone no matter what time , you knew it was me  , when panic and chaos rule... 

MX CITY 3:00am tuesday december 2007

ring ring...

ring ring.....

TP-bueno

OP-yooooo

TP-he he he  estas bien???

OP:mmmm no se k

TP:vas bien guey 

OP:los extrano un chingo a veces guey  y sabes que. me da miedo que nunca los vuelva a ver....

TP:ha ha ha no digas eso guey tu sabes que nos vamos a ver pronto y aparte recuerda lo que digiste cuando te fuiste.. pase lo que pase vamos a estar bien y seguir con lo que buscamos.

OP: si pero es que siento que ya no los voy a volver a ver ... no se por que  pero eso es lo que siento ......

TP:siempre fuiste bien perspectivo y siempre has sabido cosas antes de verlas y los 4 sabemos eso de ti....

vas bien guey nada mas no te caigas. voy para aya en tu cumple esperabamos verte en navidad pero sabemos que no puedes.. te quiero mucho y no este triston que tu mismo me dices YOU HAVE TO PAY TO PLAY siempre dices eso y es cierto pero aqui estamos Adecito.

OP: te marco al rato deja dormir, perdon por despertarte he he he 

TP: no te preocupes AD aqui estoy...... un beso 

click........

I guess I have to tell you how much I miss you and your voice thru the phone at late hours at night... he he he I wish you could call me wherever you are and whenever u want...

Right know is a time of change and I need to make a move ,  a big one, u used to be there in the phone with me when major changes happen in my life  ha ha ha  right now is happening already so fast that I can't control it , don't know where is going to end.

Im thinking....

where?

why?

how?

when?

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............

the pressure of survival in the big city will make you loose sight of your dream......

hang in there.......

O.P.

Tu y El

Estoy muy orgulloso de ti, y me han ensenado el y tu en estos 7 anos de mi partida no espacial pero si especial algo que no conocia de ti y de el, pero que siempre estuvo ahi.. curiosidad y aprendisaje y despues copartimiento es mi alma que conoces, no mi cuerpo que estremece, cuando ves algo de mi, tan profundo como un pulgar de mano santa no creyente pero con fe y persevariancia, animo y agallas, tan libre como el halcon, tan mistico como el tiburon y tan poderoso como el polen...

de nuestras venas recita mucho apredisaje y clavadez en algun contexto, ese largo apredisaje es el alma de nuestros cuerpos...

El siempre fue especial el lo sabe y lo entiende, su mision termino y nuestros caminos ando, no es us culpa haber terminado primero como simpre lo logro. pero fue conciente de sus hechos y viviente cada momento, sin la geografia que no entendia pero su corazon y energia andaba donde queria, sin embargo el sabia la mision de cada dia....

un amigo, un hijo, un hermano y sobre todo un verdadero ser humano, en esta vida de blasfemia el supo manejar su condena, y al final el lo logro, su mision el termino, dejando ensenanasas y un legado que jamas el imajino.

creemos que esta con nosotros y sabemos que lo esta..algun dia nos encontraremos una ves mas para una nueva mision...

Haces falta y siempre lo haras....me pregunto si me podrias ensenar el ser valiente como tu....

O.P.

3.2

you know something dude..... it amaze me how much MOM, DAD, NENA and MYSELF can feel you.  I was reading your blog and I was laughing for quite a bit ha ha ha you are so funny and very generous like  always.. I always told you you are a great writer.. and I did mean it.. I read before some stuff of  diferent journalist (they call themselfs like that but you cant' teach imagination and interpretacion) and I always mention to you that you are way better writer, anyway you were not a writer but you wrote things and moments like if you were one  ha ha ha ha, I remember last time you came to ny, you were telling me all the funny things  of  manolito and I was cracking up so hard that i got a stomache he he u made  me laugh a lot and also made me angry.  sometimes  ha ha... 

did you read nena's blog? www.dulontheroad.com she definetly is mahattma. remember? 

Im surprise how she pick up things from me ha ha ha ha  just kiding... I've been thinking how much shit did I miss in your life!!!! 

I talked to nena and she made me realize that I did'nt miss anything of your life, or you from mine, (she doesn't know that. don't tell her). I left and we always knew whats going on with the 5 of us after I left I always thought in you guys and just heard from you guys, this and that lots of stories to share, good times when I used to call you at 6 am ny time telling you the I miss you guys a lot and laughing eachother cause I was drunk and you don't and then you did the same ha ha ha lots of times and you left me lots of voicemails telling me how much you love me and miss me. 

I also realize that you saw my departure and you were at my wedding ha ha ha the 5 of us laughing so hard with all the crazy world of amish people. 

I'm sorry to say this but I would never forget when you and me sit behind DUFF'S bar inside the sugar factory at 5 am looking manhattan how awesome and powerful it looks and  it is, and the best of all is that we smoke the best fucking joint, you and me and we were laughing very hard and you said its good weed  ha ha ha ha ha I would never forget that ever.

I wanted to tell you something that nobody knows, you were the first one that induct me in METAL world he he he I still have METALLICA "and justice for all" LP at mom and dad's that you bought in elementary school. I never told you that cause I thought it would bother me until Im somebody but thats what it is it was'nt ricky or joel or ER or anybody who make listen metal. 

IT WAS YOU!!!!!!! and a lot of the stuff that you used to listen backthen, I listen to it now, Dinosaour JR Faster Pussycat, Metallica , etc.....  

we share a lot and you taught me a lot, oh  man ha ha when you got accepteed at CUAM high school and got your first drum set, and then our first band and we call it "letrina" and then the mighty "peyote".

remember when we used to steal the car and go to cuernavaca just for an ice cream... awesome times or the scape  to  huichapan.....

sometimes I feel like just going back and see for myself if its true or not......... cause we haven't talk in so long now.... I feel this empty space in my stomach and I feel like crying everyday.....

well bro you are so special and so enternal.......

when you walk towards the sun look the shadow that is behind you , it might tell you something...

shhhhhhhh.......

O.P.

TAVO ver 3.2

hay guey como me haces falta!!!!!!!!! 

cumplirias 32 en esta vida, pero eres tan especial que eres eterno...

te extrano y te quiero con toda mi alma guey te deseo lo mejor por siempre...

nos vemos hermanito.....